Broken

Do you know how to hold a broken woman?
How to mend her and hold her together?
How to touch her in ways
that wouldn’t remind her of the pain she had to sustain?
Do you know how to erase the traces of her yesterdays?
I’m tired of being broken.
Tired of trying when it seems like you don’t understand
just how much of my being exists in you.
Don’t understand that I,
am delicate…
fragile.
Despite what I spit on mics
You are a beautiful misery.
Your touches please me painfully,
but sometimes…
I feel like you’re just playing with me.
Then,
you smile.
Reeking havoc on my heartbeat,
giving me 32 more reason to love you.
And I feel like…
I need you.
I fiend for you.
Wish you could understand the stillness in my eyes,
hear everything I can’t speak
every time I swallow my tongue.
Your eyes are openly closed,
and I’m left wondering…
Are you scared of letting go?
Cause I know your history,
but sometimes,
I feel like you’re taking this out on me
When I’m just trying to give you,
all of me.
And I know it might sound hypocritical,
but your silence,
is slaying me.
I’m waiting for your kisses to save me,
but it seems like you don’t want to be my hero.
Your light seems like its fading,
and I’m scared of the dark.
My Knight Light in shinning armor
your silver is losing its luster…
Was it me that tarnish you?
Maybe it was all the tears I shed on you…
Creating an easy way for you to slip away,
I’m struggling to find a way to re-shine you.
And I wish I could make my clock go tock tick backwards
I miss the old you
And now I’m regretting what I told you.
You invaded more than just my mind…
I opened up my soul for you.
Wanted my tears to wash away
what was left from those not suitable for you.
I’m trying to reach out for you,
my hand is waiting for you to take,
but you are slipping through its crevices.
Like sand held to close,
the tighter I hold you,
the more you slip away,
but I’ll be damned if I let you go.
You were everything I ever wanted
I’m wondering…
did I do too much to keep you?
Maybe I should have just acted like I didn’t want you,
lied to you,
hurt you more than possible,
then maybe you would want me…
But I’d rather see you happy,
even if it’s not with me.
Just tell me.
I’ll let you walk away freely,
no ties,
and no connections.
It’ll be like you never met me.
Just say that’s how you want it to be,
don’t keep torturing me.
“If you don’t want me then don’t talk to me”
cause my confusion is about to make me lose it.
What else do I have to do for you?
I’m tired of spiting my tears for you over mics.
Tired of trying to cradling my fears of losing you
in your eyes.
Tired of the emptiness in your “I love you’s”
sending shivers down my spine.
If you love me,
tell me without speaking.
Make me feel beautiful
instead of invisible.
I just want you to hold me.
But do you know how to hold a broken woman?
How to mend her and hold her together?
How to touch her in ways
that wouldn’t remind her of the pain she had to sustain?
Do you know how to erase the traces of her yesterdays?
……I’m so tired of being broken.