Memories....

I remember who we use to be…
memories keep re- playing with my mind,
hit like back spasms.
Stuck on repeat like the playlist we use to make love to.
And I wonder if you still even remember how my skin feels…
How my hair smelled…
Remember how interlocked fingers made hearts invincible,
but this grip slipped.
I never claimed to be perfect,
and I will be the first one to say that I’m sorry,
but I tried.
And after the first break I guess we just couldn’t figure out how to fit right again.
It’s so hard letting you go…
but I guess now I have to.
It’s too much hurt here.
And I have not yet learned how to forgive
or how NOT to be the victim.
Cloudy mirrors often make it hard to see your own faults,
maybe that’s why I haven’t cleaned mine in a while.
But I’ll remember south-side showers after water parks.
Forever lasting 45 minute drives to pick up my “brother” on weekends,
I still hate the name Gary.
I’ll remember the first night you let me hold you.
Remember the impossible…
holding the Son under the moonlight while the stars played follow the leader with my tears. Remember the fading light of super nova at the end of my tunnel.
I’ll remember the first time you called me Mrs. Harrison.
Drunk voicemail messages.
I’ll remember when you told me that your money is more important,
the pillow fights and fake arguments
and don’t you dare not act like you won’t not not remember them too.
I’ll remember the first I love you,
the famous Ben’s Chill Bowl and Lincoln Theater.
I’ll remember your insecurities
and how beautiful you are to me.
Remember the blue and the brown.
Facebook status,
your absence,
presence,
smell.
I’ll remember silhouettes on bedroom walls,
praying pyramid palms pressed together.
The curve of your lips.
The day you introduced me to your mother,
graduation,
and Basic-ly
all of these things and more will remain intact.
Head held high
I’ll take this one day at a time.
Look forward to the day that someone will come to asks me
“Do you remember the last time you were in love?”
just so I can look down at my incomplete prayers,
smile…
and thank you for being the reason I can say
“Yeah…..I do.”