Ink

Dip your pen into my ink.
Let’s create pieces that complete the puzzle of your wet dreams,
I wanna make your wildest fantasies jealous
of me.
What’s your fetish?
Paint me in every shade that lays between naughty...
and nice.
And we can linger on your favorites...
Erotic orange,
missionary red,
or a back breaking black…
Whatever it takes to make you shake like that.
Say my name.
Whisper it in my ear while your pen disappears,
submerge into me...
Let’s birth stories that could make Zane go bankrupt.
Give me whatever ending you choose
and maybe we can make a sequel...
or two.
I’m ready for the tip of your pen to erupt.
Swim with me,
take this dip,
slip in
and we can mess around and go missin’
make me scratch my name into your back.
Then it’s your turn to be the poet
and I your paper,
so cover every inch of me in poetry.
Then read over me…
carefully.
Rearrange me if necessary.
Then it’s time for our show.
Time for you to see how long you can go
and how easily I roll off the tongue.
I could be that one piece that you never get tired of performing.
You’d wake up in the morning still tasting me,
and feignin’ for a hit.
Baby let me take you to levels that exceed ecstasy
trust me,
I glide easily.
Tonight is your night,
and now is not the time to get stage fright.
Or...
we could have an all night writing session.
Just me...
and you.
Pen writing smooth,
never stopping,
me caressing you.
You’re not writing fast enough
and you’re not writing hard enough
Trust I can handle all of your pen strokes
I want you to leave your imprint on all of my pages.
Seep through me.
Maybe you’re not into poetry...
Maybe rapping is your thing,
which means your tongue has a tendency to move quickly.
Please me...
I could be the best 16 that ever came from your lips.
There’s a cipher waiting for you to join in between my hips.
Dip your pen into my ink
And let’s finish our master piece
I’m ready...
and waiting.

Question, Love...

If you’re asking me if I love you,
I don’t.
If you’re asking me if I’m in love with you,
I’m not…
You are embedded into me.
Your face is permanently engraved into my soul,
I’m surprised you can’t see our history replaying its self in my eyes
every time we exchange glances across galaxies…
but I don’t quite understand you.
Don’t understand what more I have to say.
How many more times do I have to cut open my heart for you?
How many more times do I have to die on this paper for you?
I’m pissed!
But it doesn’t matter…
because I know I will continue to cut open my metaphors
and let them bleed similes
just so I can have a chance for you to smile at me.
I’ll bleed my life out through this ink
and get buried closed pen cap casketed
and be happy just as long as I never have to hear
the beat your heart makes when you’re angry.
Or see the drop in the corner of your eyes
when you are fighting the urge to cry.
And I know this is about to sound cliché
but I love you so much,
that I hate the fact that I’m in love with you.
Boy you can make me do some real corny shit for you!
But I’ll be damned if I cry for you….
again.
Not because I won’t,
just because my rivers have run dry.
Why can’t you understand?
Even now as I sit here watching you do what you do,
I’m happy,
you’re happy…
Though I’m sitting on your sidelines.
I’ll continue to be you’re number one fan
even if you ain’t my man no mo…
but it’ll be a cold day in hell
before I let you question how I feel about you
compared to any other dude.
I’ve answered these questions before.
The answers have not changed
despite if yours remain the same or not.
I know you wonder why
sometimes it’s hard for me to look you in the face.
Trust it has nothing to do with guilt,
it’s just it hurts like hell to look into the face of a future
that I will never get a chance to make.
It hurts too much to see how you doubt my feelings for you.
Your killing me blissfully.
It hurts to say I love you
because the words will never be strong enough.
I could search all human language
and still never find words worthy enough to describe you,
or the way you make me feel with just a simple touch…
But I won’t keep standing here waiting for you to come back to me.
You say you love me,
but I can’t figure out if this is a true lie…
or a false truth,
because the things you do leave stab wounds
covered by your first aid kisses.
Maybe you don’t…
or maybe you just forgot.
I’m not going to stay waiting,
watching you walk away from me.
I’d rather turn with what little dignity I have left
and walk in the opposite direction.
If you want me,
then it’s your turn to come get me.
Don’t ask me if I love you,
when you know that I don’t.
And don’t ask me it I’m in love with you,
when you know that I’m not.
My roots run deeper than these seeds.
Ask me if you can join me on this journey.
Yes, it’s hard for me to walk away from you,
and sometimes I might stumble,
but I’ll keep pushing.
Waiting for you to ask me the right question.

Angel

You are my Angel.
Heaven sent guardian you blessed me with your protection.
Convinced me that I was beautiful,
introduced me to new things
and showed me how to be everything that I could be.
I owe you this.
Without you I would’ve never found my pen.
Would’ve never been able to create the pieces I’ve written.
You took the time to converse with me
about the verses that flow through me
and I thank you.
You were there being my mother when my mother wasn’t there.
Not that she didn’t want to be
just that she couldn’t
but you could
so you held me.
Told me that she loved me,
showed me how it would feel to have her here.
But you never wanted to take her place
just wanted to hold one by her and love me.
Even though I questioned it at first
I let you in.
And in you I found someone that I could always confide in
I found someone that loved everything about me,
and though sometimes it may feel like I don’t always show it,
you mean the world to me.
I am thankful…
I can’t explain how much I love the fact that you are here.
You are my backbone.
Without you I would crumble,
lose the light at the end of my life’s tunnel.
You showered me with this strange thing called affection,
and broke me out of my shell of shyness.
Showed me how silence would be the death of me,
welcomed me into your family,
and I gained 2 beautiful sisters and 2 wonderful brothers that love me.
Role models that show me how to be a woman and what a man should be.
Gained nieces and nephews that are blossoming beautifully,
becoming people that I feel blessed to know
Gained a grandmother that is drenched in strength, wisdom, and beauty…
I gained a real family
You are exactly what me and my father needed.
You deal with our issues
and I know that we don’t always show our appreciation,
but we were bred differently.
I’m sorry
I know that sometimes you get tired of carrying the world on your shoulders
but I’m ready to help you.
I realize now that even angels need help cleaning their wings…
And since it was me that helped tarnished them,
I will be first in line to make them white again.
You are my angel
Earthbound and humble
I am grateful.
You have chosen to be right here despite everything that I do.
I guess it’s safe to say…
I love you.

Tears Unheard

Tears fall,
hearts stop,
love ends,
death begins,
ears close,
backs turn,
wounds made,
roses bleed,
letters torn,
promises broken,
dreams destroyed,
children aborted,
skin toughens,
faces break,
tears shatter,
minds distort,
minds cry,
minds nevermind,
my mind,
love leaves,
don’t return,
hearts turn,
rivers scream,
pens sing,
fingers pull,
no longer,
joined up,
moons birthed,
frozen suns,
irrelevant me,
the home,
never made,
the girl,
never saved,
she cries,
and then,
worlds end…

Bleeding Moons

I saw her dreaming.
Waiting for the moon to acknowledge her existence.
Saw where her tears left rails that glistened against the light,
she was trying to fight death…
Or maybe it was her life she was trying to win against,
trying to end it.
Tracing the names of those who hurt her into her skin
like her body was her diary,
and her favorite pen…
sliced through her pages easily.
Always writing horizontally.
She’s written some of the best poems in her skin,
but sadly…
I’ve heard them all before.
They sound a lot like the ones i wrote in my yesterdays,
her pen even follows the same strokes.
She’s right handed too…
but she has so much more to lose than i did,
and i wish she wouldn’t follow in my shoes.
They’re much too big for her.
She deserves so much more than my hand me down heartache,
and i want her life to be so much better than mine ever was…
But i guess that’s a little too optimistic,
though gifted with poetic tendencies
she doesn’t quite know how to handle her feelings.
And sometimes…
they overtake her.
And it hurts me to look at her.
It feels too much like putting a puzzle piece mirror back together,
and i don’t really like looking at myself too much.
It makes me face reality,
and it bites just a little too hard.
Leaving teeth marks across my wrists…
my scars never quite healed,
neither physical…
nor emotional.
They just got added to,
and extended.
I understand where she is coming from.
Understand how easily it looks to end it…
Understand how appealing sharp objects can be,
though deadly…
sometimes knives can look a lot like angel wings.
Ready and waiting to comfort
and make everything a lot easier.
But little girl,
you are not alone in this world…
despite how much you thought you were,
and despite how much you want to be.
I hear everything your face is trying to say to me.
But right now I need you to listen.
I’m trying to set an example
Be your sinfully simple savior slicing similes into this paper,
instead of into my skin.
If you’re gonna look up to me,
look up to the person who stands before you,
not the person that lays behind me.
I can’t even explain to you how much your suicidal tendencies are killing me.
I’ve already lost so many…
and now you want to leave me too?
Yeah, i saw you dreaming…
and I’m sorry i didn’t acknowledge your existence sooner.
But now,
I’ve adopted you as little sister
and now I’ll be damned if i let anyone hurt you,
even you…
or any reflection of me.
So hold on for me
fight death for me
cause though you are looking up to me
what you don’t know is I’m looking up to you too
and I’d hate to see my star fall…
but I’ll here to catch you if ever you decide to
i can help heal you
as long as you promise to do the same for me…
your moon…

The Calling

I stand before you…
Now tell me exactly what you see,
I am giving you this opportunity to judge me,
so what are your eyes telling you?
What lies are they plaguing your mind with?
Who stands before you?
Who do you see?
The baby of the poetry?
This scared little girl,
trapped in a body blossoming before baby believed she was ready…
Break me down…
crack open my skull
cut open my chest
tear through my spirit…
my soul.
Rape my psyche.
Then tell me what you find there…
Define me,
place me in whatever category you decide i fit in.
Stereotype me.
I mean, that’s only if you haven’t already…
don’t sit there and act like you don’t understand me.
Don’t act like you haven’t done this…
before.
Re-name me.
Call me bitch
cunt,
whore,
slut,
nigga,
coon,
pickinini,
jiggaboo,
anything, but beautiful.
Tell me who I am.
What role should I play?
I’m ready for my cue.
Just tell me what you want me to do,
then watch me…
defy you.
Rise above any put down you put up against me.
Call me weak,
and I’ll show you how strong i can be.
Show you that i was born a one-man army,
bred to protect me.
Taught that the only person that could ever really love me…
is me,
so Fuck You.
Tell me I’m not beautiful and I’ll show you what angels look like.
Show you why God painted me in colors as holly as He.
My skin is etched in gold,
sprinkled with chocolate so pure,
it could make all others go out of business.
Hershey kissed by an almond sun.
Skin softer than new born baby angels,
hung over the perfect poem.
My words curve perfectly though slightly premature.
Doubt my intellect,
and I’ll converse with you
on whatever level you decide to take me to.
Exceed your expectations.
My mind is waiting for you to drown in.
Let me show you that my tongue has razor wings
still dripping thoughts from the last battle we encountered.
My mind is varnished vividly with intellectual battle wounds
that only make me smarter,
wiser.
Use your sword to brand me,
call me whatever your mind wishes.
I no longer care what you choose to do
cause it’s not what you’re called…
but what you answer to.

Faces

Faces hold stories that are unheard by eyes,
souls tend to be captivated by lies told by tangible intangible.
The blueprints to fantasies are found in rainbow roots,
and the map ones heart is found in fingertips.
Lips part to make secrets exist,
but yet eyes don’t listen very well closed.
How different…
love can be…
How badly it can fail to up lift you.
Why do what you know you’ll fail to understand
Tragically,
romance ends too much like the lives of butterflies
touched by oiled tips to eager to hold something so beautiful.
Colors are skewed by you who choose to believe your helping you’re scared of losing…
Why?
Why hold flames that burn wisdom into palms made of ignorance?
Silky forgiveness is found on the velvet surface of sunrise moons…
Torn tears are lost in cracked hearts
bruised and broken.
Eyes burn oceans who’s blue waves rise and break…
alone.
Funny how we seek dark dreams shaken free by angelic nightmares.
Evil cannot exist without good,
but why is good nonexistent?
What makes one happy?
Are smiles drenched in the tears shed from enemy eyes?
Or do the joyous cries of others ricochet and create half circle scars on faces…?
What are smiles?
Half moons?
Or two way mirrors that allow no one to see inside the darkness that lingers behind them?
Are they symbols of true happiness?
or just another lie heard by eyes wide shut?
Emotions run deeper than most family ties…
cause feeling,
is living.
But can you live with what you’re feeling?
Do your emotions over take you,
Or do you burry them inside your spirit?
How different… life can be.
How badly it can fail to uplift you.
But yet we still choose to continue down these paths that lead to our own self destruction,
subconsciously crying out for attention.
Waiting to hear lies said out of repetition stupidity.
But eyes tend to talk to much,
and ears never see the sincerity in words.
But if we would just let our eyes listen,
for a moment…
then maybe we would finally be able to hear the stories that faces hold…