Ice Age

They call me cold hearted
but it’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly when the frost bite started,
when my heart turned artic,
and when my aortic arch started to pump out too much anti freeze for my body to handle.
My engine has started to sputter,
losing life slowly,
spiraling out of control-
I think I need a jump start…
but I’m too afraid of the electricity.
I tend to run from love
finding comfort in the arms of my heart’s assassin
closed casket
I buried my heart a long time ago
And a year later…
I buried my common sense
Choosing to date fools who were only good for a good…
Love seems like it’s playing a never ending game of hide and seek with me
were I’m constantly it,
I’m constantly chasing.
And sometimes I fool myself into think that I finally caught it and then…
I run from it,
but love never seems to catch back up with me.
Funny how I end up chasing all over again…
Damn if I shouldn’t be a track star.
I’ve lost count of how many times this thing in my chest has been
snatched from me,
how many times I’ve almost lost all dignity
because my heart
betrayed my mind.
Don’t want to remember how many times I’ve mistaken love
for lust.
How many times I’ve looked for safety in the Devil’s arms
cause daddy…
wouldn’t hold me.
Always looking for the affection of man
in little boys who don’t even understand
the definition of how to be one
Funny,
I don’t know either…
maybe that’s why I fall easy.
I never knew what the sincerity in I love you should sound like
so when the words are uttered to me I make myself believe them.
It use to be easy for me to let people in,
but now,
as many times as I’ve been broken
I never open.
Everyone that has ever told me they loved me
has left me…
so it’s easier for me to let them leave
if there’s nothing that connects them to me.
I tend to give new people the cold shoulder
that way it won’t be any new ice sickles
to stab in my chest to make my heart grow colder.
I tend to hide my emotions.
You only see me lose composure when I’m…
about…
to blow,
So know that if you think that I’m just a little pissed…
I’ve really reached a whole new level of pissed-ocity
I warn you.
Though my heart might be cold
I can unleash the fires of hell with my wrath
don’t test me
I snap,
easy…
Especially since every chick that screams they like kin to me
ain’t no real friend to me
They flip-flop more than the shoes with the same damn name
Two faced
If I had a real friend for every dagger wound in my back
I’d have an army big enough to bring our soldiers back
I’d rather ride solo
cause from the get-go
I’ve been betrayed.
My kindness has been misused,
so I guess it’s safe to say I have trust issues
I’m sorry
Wait I lied,
FUCK AN APOLOGY
I refuse to give you the satisfaction of thinking that you mean anything to me.
You’re not worth my “I’m sorry”
It was you who made me this way
every one of you who’s done dirt to me
my own family seems like they are the descendents of Judas.
Betray me with kisses that send shiver down my spine.
They call me cold hearted
but maybe,
my heart has just been frozen over
and
d
r
o
p
p
e
d
s h a t t e r e d
So now,
it doesn’t exist anymore….